


the things you said...

by maejesty



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Normal Life, Angst, Comfort, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Mild Smut, Oneshot, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:27:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29255937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maejesty/pseuds/maejesty
Summary: oneshots of snowbaz
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	1. things you said when you thought i was asleep

\- TOLD IN SIMON’S POV 

it’s become a habit at this point. 

i pretend to fall asleep and everytime i do, baz sneaks away. he’s probably looking for blood or plotting my downfall. i try my hardest to stay awake forcing my eyes to stay open, but after long days of studying and talking with penny and my mind wandering off thinking about agatha and baz and that stupid, stupid smirk and stupid black, silk, shoulder length hair, i fall asleep before he even makes it back. 

except for tonight. 

i remember falling asleep immediately after i had taken my shower and put on my pjs. maybe all of the staying up late for baz got to me. or maybe it was because i stuffed myself full at dinner- to be fair, i spent half of my day chasing around a bunny in the woods. it’s eyes glowed- well, it’s entire _body_ did, so of course i had to chase it down. 

i never caught it.

baz was there at his desk when i walked in and, surprisingly, he didn’t say a word to me or sneer at me with his pink lips (his skin is so pale it makes his plump rosy lips stand out so much more. sometimes i wonder...). 

i wake up sometime around midnight. i’m not sure. i look to my right and i see that baz’s bed is still empty. 

it takes me a while to register that the shower is running. _he’s taking a shower, then_.

i try to go back to sleep but i can’t. it’s like all my sleepiness has gone away. i toss and turn and flip my pillow to the cold side multiple times, but to no avail. “fucks sake,” i whisper under my breath. i decide to just close my eyes and let sleep overcome me again. 

i hear the shower faucet turn off and a few minutes of silence- he’s probably putting on his pjs. stupid silk pjs he brought from his mansion. 

the door opens and i decide to just still, pretending i’m asleep. i’m curled up and my head is faced towards his bed. 

i hear the floorboards creak as baz walks to his bed and settles in. he sighs- deeply. 

“simon,” he whispers, and i think to open my eyes before i realize i’m supposed to be asleep. 

he’s never said my first name before. 

a moment passes before he speaks again. 

“simon. i wish you knew how i felt about you. i don’t want to always be enemies with you. i fight with you all the time, i’m rude, i make snarky remarks about you. because i know we’ll never get a chance.

“you have agatha. and penny. you have everyone. everyone loves you. the mage himself loves you like you’re his own son. and i know you’re never going to pick me. 

“your stupid blond curls and those plain but striking blue eyes of yours makes me fall deeper every single time. i want to kiss every mole that dots your body. i want to hold your hand and i want to run my fingers through your hair- your messy, perfect hair. crowley, even when you’re sleeping, you look like an angel. 

“i hate the way you make me feel. i wish i could magic all of this away with a spell. but, as cliche as it sounds, love is one of the most powerful sources of magic. i can’t wish away my feelings for you. 

“we’re destined to be enemies. but i wish… i wish we didn’t have to follow destiny. i mean, i bet you’re not even gay. being with agatha and all.” he chuckles, but almost like he’s on the verge of tears. 

“simon snow. i am hopelessly in love with you.” he sighs. i hear him turning around. “goodnight.” 

i almost forget how to breathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed loves !! take care of yourself, take your meds if you need to, drink lots of water and don’t forget to eat <3


	2. things you said when i was crying

\- TOLD IN SIMONS POV. 

i wake up in a panic. 

i’m a fucking mess. i’m hyperventilating and searching for baz. baz- where the fuck is he?

i reach out for the other side of the bed but it’s empty. 

he left me. he left me just like everybody else. 

i can't think of anything. not with my stupid wings in the way and this goddamn tail. 

i start sobbing. “baz!” i yell. i don’t care if i wake up penny or our neighbors. i cant think straight. all i can think about is baz. _baz baz baz baz_. 

“baz!” i yell louder. i’m a panicked, sobbing mess at this point. i feel like i’m about to pass out. i cant breathe. so many memories popping up. hugging the mage’s lifeless body, ebb’s blood staining her hair, the tiles on the floor- 

the door opens and baz pulls me into his arms. i cling on to him and cry into his shirt. 

“hey, it’s okay, love. deep breaths, okay?” he breathes deep and loudly and i slowly start to follow him. “just concentrate on your breathing, love.” he pets my hair- he knows that that calms me down the best. 

my sobbing slowly stops but the feeling of dread, the _feeling_ that something terrible will happen to me- to me and _baz_ , looms. 

“b-az… i can’t lose you…” i feel like i’m going to lose my breath again. everything seems almost too much. i feel like throwing up.

“simon, listen to me,” he whispers. “you’re not. i’ve been in love with you for nearly 10 years- madly in love i must say, and you think that i’m gonna leave you? you think i would ever let you go? you must be out of your mind, love. you’re my everything. you mean the entire world to me. i’d rather be kidnapped by numpties- fucking _numpties_ \- than lose you.” he kisses on top of my curls. “simon, i love you. i promise you, i’m never going to leave you. you are single handedly the best thing that has ever happened to me.” he kisses me on my curls again. “you’re… you’re my soulmate. i know.” he rubs my back. 

“just take a deep breath again, okay? follow me.” he starts breathing heavily and i follow him as best as i can. he stares at me softly as he does so. 

i feel the feeling of dread and terror slowly slip away until i feel better. i’m so exhausted. i slump in baz’s arms. 

“so proud of you, love,” he whispers into my ear.

“baz…”

“yes, darling?” 

“i love you. thank you. i’m sorry, you never signed up for this and i-“ 

he shushes me with his mouth. it’s soft and gentle and his lips are plump and beautiful. so beautiful. 

he breaks apart. “as your boyfriend, i think it’s obvious that i’ll be here for you through thick and thin. i will never, ever get bored of you. you’re the only one i want, simon snow. you’re the only one i need.” he kisses me again on the forehead, the mole on my cheek. 

he lies us back down on the bed and i snuggle up to him. his signature scent still lays on the shirt he’s wearing, even with all my tears. he pulls the blanket over us. i take a deep breath in. 

i’m home. 

and whenever baz is, when i’m holding his hand, whenever i’m there with him, i’m home.


	3. things you said when we were 70

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! this is a normal au, since i didn’t exactly how baz would look old since he’s a vampire lol. enjoy !! <3

\- TOLD IN BAZ’S POV. 

we are old now. 

simon’s golden hair has turned grey and has thinned. his eyes seem to droop lower and his skin has wrinkled. his hands shake when he reaches for his medicine on his table. 

we have a dog, a golden retriever. his name is cerberus. he reminds me of simon, in the way he looks, and the way he once used to act when we were young. he’s nine years old, the same age as us in human years. 

i pet cerberus on our bed as simon reads a book. i close my eyes and enjoy the moment in silence. once, we would kiss until our breaths were short. once, we made love late into the night, once, we felt invincible, once, we were _young_. 

and now, we are happy. we are content with this. we share kisses and _i love you_ ’s throughout the day and at night we hug, and never let each other go, cerberus at the foot of our bed. we are old, and yet i still love and fall in love right over again when i wake up and he is still in my arms. 

penelope visits us often. she had two children and five grandchildren, who she sometimes brings along. she still had brown strands of hair, refusing to turn white. she is still strong and her hands are steady and she doesn’t use a cane. 

we play with her grandchildren like we did her children, who we comforted and laughed and loved them as if they were our own. 

“do you ever regret not having children?” i asked him, after they had left. we are sitting on our blue couch, the tv turned on to the news. 

“i don’t think so,” he answered, “not really..” he states back at the tv, showing the weather. 

“if we could turn back time, to when we were young, do you think you would change you mind?” 

he is silent, and closes his eyes as he thinks. he waits a few moments before opening them back up and speaking again. 

“i don’t know. i can never know for sure. i don’t know what future would hold for us if we ever had children. i dont wish for them anymore. it’s like… more of a thought, more of a _what if_?”

i nodded, and leaned back into the soft cushions. “sometimes i wish we were young again. being sworn enemies and rivals.” 

simon laughed- his laugh still remained the same even after decades. 

“boarding school. you hated me so much, didn’t you? i was always scared of getting into my bed, thinking you had thrown a snake in it.” 

i smiled. “i did that because i was jealous of you. and because i developed a fast crush on you,” i admitted. 

i remember staying up late and watching him sleep. i remember how, when the moon shone and she was full, the moon would shine his fawn face even brighter, how it would make simon snow look ethereal and even more beautiful than i thought it could. i spent my days teasing him, and night i stayed up, thinking how a human could look so perfect. 

“sometimes i wish i could go back to when we were still at watford,” simon said, taking me out of my thoughts. “but they are all in the past. there will always be more memories to loom forward to making, and in the meantime, our memories of yesterday will keep us company until we make more memorable ones.” he took my hand and kissed my knuckles. “even if we are old, we should try and live each day we have on earth to the fullest.” 

“you sound like a motivational speaker,” i teased. 

simon laughed. and kissed my knuckles again, pressing another kiss on our wedding ring, forty-five years ago. 

“i will love you until the end of time, baz. i want to spend the rest of my days, and my days after those, with you,” he said. 

i smiled and planted a kiss on his cheeks. it felt like we were seventeen and in love for the first time again. 

we are old, yes. 

but our love is still like we were young.

**Author's Note:**

> hello! hope u enjoyed lovelies <33


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